Never Google Heartbreak by Emma Garcia

Author:Emma Garcia [Emma Garcia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hodder and Stoughton
Published: 2013-03-14T22:00:00+00:00

18

Are You Compatible?

1. Do you genuinely like each other and seek to spend time in each other’s company?

2. Do you take it in turns to play the role of the lover and the loved?

3. Are you both able to say sorry and talk about how to move the relationship forward?

4. Do you both laugh at the same kinds of things?

5. Are you able to talk about money without fighting?

6. Are you both willing to change any habits that upset each other?

7. Do you have similar expectations and life plans?

8. Are you any of these zodiac combinations: Leo + Aries, Taurus + Virgo, Gemini + Libra or Cancer + Scorpio?

Answers

Mostly Yes – highly compatible (yay).

Mostly No – don’t bother (boo).

I’m at my desk by eight. The office is deserted. I’ve only missed one day – what could have gone wrong? I read my emails. Nothing from Rob. A couple of suppliers can’t come in with the prices they promised. A competitor has bought up all the tartan there is in the world, and Snotty wants to see me first thing. I leave a wheedling message on her voicemail, mainly to let her know I was in at eight.

Pretty soon I find myself gazing out of the window at the blue sky. I look at my phone to see if there’s a message from Max. There is.

‘Vivienne! You ravaging beauty. I smell you on my skin. M x’

I feel my body respond as I text back: ‘Have a shower! V xx’

I open a spreadsheet and look at some costings, trying to work out if we can still afford the product range as it stands, but my mind begins to wander. I decide to have a proper look at the website. I haven’t had a chance to explore it until now. I type in the link that Michael gave me and a webpage design appears; the title in dark blue, joined-up font stands out against a pale grey background. The home page is striking, with its ‘Top tips’ choices. I click on ‘How to end it’ and there’s a list and a forum where you can post your own story and advice. I click on ‘Date my ex’ and there’s a photo of Michael. He stares out solemnly, reminding me of a high-school murderer. I find it hard to believe an ex of his has written this profile: ‘If you like sex and good times, then this guy is for you. He’s all about fun, and he’s really well hung.’ I cruise the heartbreak forum where break-up emails are posted. There’s the ‘Ask Lucy’ page with my life story laid out as this week’s example. I’m getting more excited with each page. I send a message to Michael, thanking him and asking how soon it can go live. He replies, ‘Live now ;)’ I type the address and there it is!

I click the ‘What’s on your mind?’ forum where there’s an open thread, to post a message to Max: ‘It’s been two hours. Are you dead yet?’ I text him the address of the site, telling him to check it out.

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